Cap & Gown Overload

'Tis the season for the cap and gown...and its making me want to puke. Maybe I haven't been paying attention over the years because more then ever before I've been bombarded by these ceremonies. I would be ok with it if we were only referring to high school or college graduations, those I understand, the rest I don't.

I've known for awhile that pre-schoolers and kindergartners take part in end of year 'graduations' and until recently it didn't really bother me. In a way I guess it still doesn't. No one actually screws up finger painting and recess so I know the real reason behind these ceremonies is to give everyone a chance to put the kids in funny hats, do some off the wall arts and craft projects and thank teachers for a great year. Parents get a chance to add to the scrapbook and be reminded that its all going by way too fast. All of the captions on the photo galleries say something to the effect that no one can believe their babies are already this big. In a way all these 'graduations' accomplish at this age is making relatives feel old.

My bigger beef is the fact that I had no idea that other more ridiculous so called graduations are taking place for every other grade. It started when the 5th grade 'graduation' snuck up on me. Really? 5th grade graduation, I want to know whose idea this was? We are rewarding kids for passing the 5th grade? I find that equalling insulting and detrimental to our kids. Recognition for completing 5th grade is bad enough but than evidence of 2nd and 4th grade 'graduations' sent me over the edge. How can this be real. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a celebration to mark the end of a school year and I can even understand the desire to do something special for the grade levels that will not be returning to the school the following year. Will someone please just suggest a BBQ or a pot luck instead? A fun last day of school instead of a special ceremony to single out grade levels and commend students for doing what they are in school to do in the first place.



There is this annoying radio commercial I hear everyday that illustrates that this 'pat me on the back' mentality is more common than I thought. It's an ad for Perkins restaurant. The first voice is a child saying something like:

'I just tied my shoes!'

The radio personality breaks in to say:

'Celebrate the small things in life'

That is followed by a couple exclaiming

'We just tied the knot!'

Radio personality interjects again with:

'Celebrate the big things in life' and then proceeds to tell everyone to go to Perkins no matter what the occasion.

Really? Besides the obvious stupidity in taking your child out to eat for tying their shoe for the first time there is the insanity of going to Perkins to celebrate a real milestone like getting married. Yeah I almost believe that a wedding party is really headed to Perkins for a piece of pie after their wedding ceremony. It is Perkins after all, who exactly do they think they are? Anyway that is beside the point, the commercial is stupid but the message is worse.

I see no real difference in the Perkins message and the 'graduation' message. Going out of our way to celebrate...well, nothing. Last time I checked everyone was supposed to pass grades K through 8. Are we so afraid that our kids won't accomplish anything that we prop them up for every small achievement? If so how do we reward them for actually accomplishing something worth celebrating, it seems we are intentionally setting the bar pretty low. No credit for doing the things that we as responsible, law abiding citizens are supposed to do, kids included. No props for going to school and doing your homework. No accolades for getting to work on time and raising your children. You get nothing because its not special, its life. Grade school 'graduations' are furthering this mentality and it upsets me more than the Meat Lovers Scramble at Perkins.